June 28, 2016

My Wisdoom Tooth and My Life

Salam,

Finally, my wisdom tooth buat hal lg. Sakit dia, Mashaallah, hanya Allah ja tau.Harini aku ambil mc. menangis ya rabbi macam budak darjah 1.haha..housemate terkejut sb aku nangis dalam fon ngadu dekat mak aku. Well, masa ni la u need someone by your side but you have none. Sobs.

Gigi aku akan dicabut lepas raya. Semalam aku gi klinik gigi government.Doktor cakap lepas raya n dy bagi ubat tahan sakit dekat aku. Then tak pa la.i olls redha. Sahur tadi makan ubat siap2 pastu smbg tdo. Bangun ja dr tdo ya rabbi. Allah ja tau tak tertanggung sakit. Lepas call mak, mak pesan gi klinik swasta. Pegi klinik swasta,hmmm,bagus juga la sb doktor cek smpi hbs. tp duit aku habis rm200. T_T. Tapi itu belum cabut ye. Cabut lepas raya and i will do at government dentist. Swasta mau nangis la aku.

Lepas tu, rasa la lega sikt. Terus gi qb tengok wayang.Hahaha..Sorang pun jadi wei.Then call mak bgtau perkembangan. Waktu ni la mak aku ulang balik ayat dulu. The reason why they dont allow me to work far from them. Padahal aku dekat penang je pon. Mak aku kata sakit macam ni la mak aku risau. Takde sape nak tengokkan. Pegi mana2 sorang2. I told my mak, selagi mak doakan keselamatan angah, selagi tu la angah selamat.hehehe

My life. hurmm.. Based on my last post.After i got this pain, i decided to stop. I do like him but enough for me to end here. Perasaan orang tak bole paksa awak. Hashtag redha.haha.
I realize that my istikharah must have other meaning. Tak pe la awak. I dont mind and i dont want to waste your time.

Mungkin life aku macam ni la kan. Ala2 sedih, lonely, and hmmm..and ape ea.lols.im not pathetic. I just want to continue my life. Hey, im an independant woman hokeyyyy. I stand on my feet.Tak pe. Ada jodoh ada la.

Now, i wanna take care of my health. Jaga diri sendri. Jaga hubungan aku dengan Allah. Perbaiki diri aku.Be anak yang solehah. As long as Allah with me.I m okay. Perkara yang aku paling takut ialah Allah lepaskan hati aku.Biarkan aku pergi macam tu.Allahu, nauzubillah. 2nd yg aku takut.Kehilangan family aku. Aku tak bole bayangkan. Family ak sentiasa dgn aku. Tak de tempat lain lagi aku bole bergantung melainkan family aku.

Well thats all. Walaupun takde orang membaca i dont mind.At least, apa yg terbuku dalam hati aku dah keluar. If anyone read this please keep it silent. Aku tak nak la orang baca blog aku.Because this is only place I can express my feelings.Okay. Thanks =D


June 26, 2016

The Unexpected

Salam,

Yup, this is unexpected and bcome more complicated. I miss my old self. Hati aku ni keep going to that person. He was not giving a proper answered and im still put a hope in it.

Allah, Tuhan yang membolak balikkan hati aku.  I hate this feelings. Hate to know how pathetic i can be when i fall to someone. I said i want to end it but i cant. He keep mingling in my mind. I believe everything happen comes with reason.

Every morning i wake up just to see whether he reply my wassap or not. The dissapointment with blue tick like hmmmm.. I do feel relieve when i told him. but i never expect this could happen. Even right now i am not well due to sore throat and suddenly sakit gigi and i still look at my phone.

Weii, aku dah gila ka apa? I am scared. Takut this feeling will be more deep.His name always in my pray and i can feel how selfish i am. Aku pujuk diri aku untuk redha.Redha dlm smua benda. Please pray for me. I am really struggling in this.



June 23, 2016

Taking Another Step To End It

Salam,

hmmm.. i think i need a progress. A progress for me so i can move on. Well, i had post about my crush. I had tried to forget him many times, But i cant. He always in my mind. So, to get the answer I will ask him. fuhh.. tak pernah2 ni syikin buat perangai macam ni. Allahu, aku dah tak fokus da. And i want myself back.

So, to end it i need to talk to him. Cakap je senang. Once dah setel i will bawa diri. I didnt expect he will accept me. I can predict he will reject me. Which I dont mind. At least I tell him what I feel. Pray for me. So, I will be strong and move ahead.

I am taking another step to end all this mess in my head.